living in disturbia

theres this really great quote from the movie waking life that i think just about sums up this feeling ive been having concerning my disappointments in human beings around the globe and their lack of human-being-ness:

"You can't fight city hall." "Death and taxes." "Don't talk about politics or religion." This is all the equivalent of enemy propaganda, rolling across the picket line. "Lay down, GI! Lay down, GI!". We saw it all through the 20th Century. And now on the 21st Century, it's time to stand up and realize, that we should NOT allow ourselves to be crammed into this rat maze. We should not SUBMIT to dehumanization. I don't know about you, but I'm concerned with what's happening in this world. I'm concerned with the structure. I'm concerned with the systems of control. Those that control my life, and those that seek to control it EVEN MORE! I want FREEDOM! That's what I want, and that's what YOU should want! It's up to each and every one of us to turn loose of just some of the greed, the hatred, the envy, and yes, the insecurities, because that is the central mode of control, make us feel pathetic, small, so we'll willingly give up our sovereignty, our liberty, our destiny. We have GOT to realize we're being conditioned on a mass scale. Start challenging this corporate slave state! The 21st Century's gonna be a new century! Not the century of slavery, not the century of lies and issues of no significance, of classism and statism, and all the rest of the modes of control... it's gonna be the age of humankind, standing up for something PURE and something RIGHT! What a bunch of garbage, liberal, Democratic, conservative, Republican, it's all there to control you, two sides of the same coin! Two management teams, bidding for control of the CEO job of Slavery Incorporated! The TRUTH is out there in front of you, but they lay out this buffet of LIES! I'm SICK of it, and I'M NOT GONNA TAKE A BITE OUT OF IT! DO YA GOT ME? Resistance is NOT futile, we're gonna win this thing, humankind is too good, WE'RE NOT A BUNCH OF UNDERACHIEVERS, WE'RE GONNA STAND UP, AND WE'RE GONNA BE HUMAN BEINGS! WE'RE GONNA GET FIRED UP ABOUT THE REAL THINGS, THE THINGS THAT MATTER - CREATIVITY, AND THE *DYNAMIC* *HUMAN* *SPIRIT* THAT REFUSES TO *SUBMIT*! WELL THAT'S IT, that's all I've got to say. It's in your court now.

verily, you should watch this:



i dont even know what to say. the whole concept of people who are easily brainwashed sickens me- i dont even think sicken is the right word, there is no word for it except to say id rather die than be around for that to happen- thats not true, id probably work some crazy underground job to have humans become real again... and then i would probably be assassinated.

sometimes i think i am one of the very very few who can grasp the concept of truth, and that the fate/weight of the world rests on my shoulders.


also, has anyone read the unbearable lightness of being? if not you should- you close the book and wonder what the point was and then realize you are still thinking about it 3 weeks later- it resonates. anyway, what i want to know is, for those of you who have read it, in the beginning they talk of beethovens piece, Der schwer gefasste Entschluss translated to "the difficult or weighty solution" does anyone have access to this or can download it and send it my way- i have been trying to no avail. i think the title is actually opus 135 in F major.

"The weighty resolution is at one
with the voice of Fate (`Es muss sein!'); necessity, weight, and value are three concepts
inextricably bound: only necessity is heavy, and only what is heavy has value. (33) "-carey henson literary review

i love pain. not in that creepy way, but in the way that it is so beautiful. everything "heavy" is what makes you a better person, what makes you more real and human and most importantly makes you grow as a person. i think if everyone appreciated what they have experienced more and left out the bitterness it can be a very spiritual experience. you will never know happiness if you never experience true suffering- yin and yang- and all of those other things concerning balance. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO KNOW- i thirst for it.

on another note, i pulled some muscles in my rib cage or something, it hurts.